"Why would’a anyone do sooch a cruel’a theeng…."

http://wariodeask.tumblr.com/post/93982126345/the-truth-about-toad wariodeask

The Truth About Toad

teenytinytoadette:

Toadette watched as Wario’s ball sailed and made contact with that ever so large and imposing tree. Unable to prevent herself, Toadette giggled, mostly due to the fact that Wario had bragged so much about his golfing skills before this round had even started- looks like he couldn’t put his money where his mouth was!

After that, the girl set up her shot, staring down, and then back up at the course, determination in those little black eyes. For a moment or two, there was silence, the only sound being the wind rustling through the trees, and blowing through her pigtails…

Up the club went behind her….!

So did you hear de rumour about your buddy Toad? he prefers men!”

—And down it swung with such force and lack of precision that it went sailing right into the rough, far away from the course itself as Toadette spun her head back to stare at Wario, her eyes wide as saucers.

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"A-are you serious?!"

Now it was Wario’s turn to let loose a laugh, and he didn’t miss the chance as a loud one escaped his lips, as Toadette’s ball bounced off into the thicker patch of grass. Why he guffawed so loudly that he nearly missed Toadette’s question.

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"Ha ha ha… huh? Oh yeah, dead’aly serioos! De little twerp clearly does. Everyone knows already, we all can’a see eet and talk about eet all de time.” In truth the overweight man was lying through his pearly white teeth, having blurted the first thing to come to mind as a distraction. He didn’t expect the mushroom girl to react in such a way however, almost as if she believed it….

A wicked thought came to mind. He could have some fun if he were able to keep the lie going. All he’d need to do is keep her convinced…

"I’a mean, even Mario and’a de Princess know about eet. I figured he woulda told you since’a you’rea supposed to’a be so close" he said, almost teasingly, as he wandered across the course to the spot his ball had landed, readying himself for his next swing…

softstills:

wariodeask:

Walking straight over to the boy, the overweight plumber crouched down as low as he could to meet his eye level. “Shorty. Shorty. Shorty!” he said slowly, imposing in a way to appear intimidating.

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"Well, aren’t you a smart fellow. Be a good guy, say cheese."

And without waiting for the other to answer back, he grabbed his camera and pointed the flashing light directly toward the eyes of the fat man. A loud and bright flash then happened. He always knew how to take care of this kind of bullies with this bright idea.

"Say wha…"

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The fat man wasn’t expected the camera flash, and thus didn’t have time to shield his eyes. He could only let out a yelp he quickly covered his eyes as he tried to regain his sight, his temper beginning to flare in the same instant.

"Grrrrr…. you little runt, I’lla wring your’a neck for’a dat!". Wario growled, still clutching his face as he stood up and began stumbling around…

"DEY INVITED BACK DAT LITTLE MASKED TWERP BEFORE’A ME!!! DIS EES AN OUTRAGE!!!!!!!! I’MA FAR MORE WANTED AND’A DESERVIN’!!!!!!!"

honeythelioness asked: is most of your body weight fat, or muscles?

"What’a kinda redeeculooso question ees’a dat? I’ma obviously pure muscle~ Joost check me out!" He bragged, flexing his rippling muscles as he posed so studly. He was the epitome of hunk~.

Anonymous asked: All hail Space Toad.

Here’s to’a Space Toad. and’a hees safe jounrey to hees home planet

((note: Space Toad died on his way home))

http://tomokotohomiko.tumblr.com/post/55904461992/lets-do-a-weird-headcanon-thing tomokotohomiko

Let’s do a weird headcanon thing

1. What they smell like: Wario’s odor is something not of this world. It is the foulest of foul smells to ever wing its way to unsuspecting nostrils. His stench is a near lifetime mass of sweat, garlic, motor oil, smoke, explosive material, farts and probably some stale foodstuffs. An open sewer would smell better than him, to put it simply.
2. How they sleep (sleeping position, schedule, etc): He’ll either sleep all flopped out, taking up all the space or tucked up in his pillow. Wario goes to sleep whenever he wants at night, sleeps late alot of the time and is not adverse to naps in between.
3. What music they enjoy: I figure more Funky or Disco-y stuff? Something that would get the blood pumping.
4. How much time they spend getting ready every morning: Nearly no time at all. The only thing Wario will do is tidy up his moustache and change out of his pyjamas
5. Their favourite thing to collect: COINS! GOLD! TREASURE! Wario is also a collector of odd knick-knacks that he’ll think will be worth alot in the future.
6. Left or right-handed: Predominately right handed, but his left will do in a tight situation.
7. Religion (if any):  He’s not really the religious sort, unless it suited him. Though the Star Spirits do kinda govern the Mario cosmos??? Can’t really not believe in them when everyone met them in Mario Party 5
8. Favourite sport: Karting, Golf, Football, Baseball, Basketball, Dodgeball, Hockey, Tennis, Volleyball. Karting and Football are some of his favourites become those are more intense.
9. Favourite touristy thing to do when travelling:  Sampling the local food stuffs and checking out the local museums and jewellers.
10. Favorite kind of weather: Wario prefers cooler weather more than warmer. Too Warm and he started sweating alot. He doesn’t like freezing either though
11. A weird/obscure fear they have:  Heights is a minor fear of his, but the one thing he truly fears is to be forgotten by everyone. He’s an egotist that wants to be remembered by everyone so obscurity as a prospect scares him.
12. The carnival/arcade game they always win without fail: All of them. He wanted to win the prizes so he earned those tickets (and maybe stole some from the nerds but thats neither here nor there)

Anonymous asked: Wario the Enchilada for Sonic 06

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YOU’A TOOK MY EMAWOLDS?

"Dat oughta learn ya!"

teenytinytoadette:

“Well, it was kinda hard at first- when you first pick up a violin, the sounds that come out of that thing are painful to listen to.” She giggled a bit. “Drove my parents crazy, practicing!” As Wario held the instrument a little bit more heavy handedly than she would have liked, Toadette tried her best not to cringe too much, and let out a soft sigh when it was given back.

Immediately into the case it went, safe and sound. She shut it, and looked back up at the man when he spoke of being musical himself. “Wait, you’re into music as well?”

Interest piqued, she looked up at Wario, her eyes sparkling a bit. “Oh! Oh! You’ve got to tell me! I had no idea you were!!”

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"Yeah! Eet’sa been a theeng of’a mine since I was’a a kid! Noone else was’a as good as’a me!" he declared, beaming with pride. "I’a may be a bit rusty, but I’lla even give you a private display right’a here~" he replied, seeing the excitement shine through on Toadette’s face already.

"So sit’a tight and prepare to be’a Amazed! Eet’sa not everyone who’a gets to’a see dis up close like dis!" He was deliberately hyping things up, getting the blood pumping. In one quick motion, he quickly reached out his arm, stuck it under his armpit and began moving the other arm up and down, causing a foul noise to emanate…

Wario himself was giddy though. No matter how old he was this always got a smile out of him. “Go ahead, gimme a song and’a I’ll try and’a play eet!” he beamed!

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